It is September and sunny outside, I’ve just got a whatsapp from my friends to say drinks on the Southbank later! I am already typing “yes” when start to think.
Em’s at home, she has already messaged me to say it’s been a hard day. Sofia has not been sleeping and she has had to deal with a house valuation and the gas man looking at changing our boiler. It’s a really hard decision but I type “no, can’t make it”. The guilt of leaving Em at home holding the baby and my own desire to get home and spend time with her makes the decision for me.
Should I feel guilty though? It’s definitely a hard one, we said before birth that we wanted to maintain the freedom to do other things and not be that person who disappears from the social scene or who is clock watching through one drink before going home. We both would have wanted to be on the Southbank drinking.
Key is we make time for each other to do things, I’ve been able to maintain my running and Em now with a clean bill of health will return to the gym. One of my friends at work says that they agreed to allowing each other 1 night out a week which sounds good and something we will follow but don’t want it a rigid day.
This week though Em is going away to her Mums and leaving me at home for two nights. So not doing this night doesn’t seem such a guilty thing when thinking it through. Giving each other the space does help with cabin fever and therefore agreeing time out for hobbies or nights out has to be a key agreement before the baby is born so you don’t end up losing the life you had for your baby. Em even has plans to take the baby to America for a week on her own.
So did I feel guilty, no, did I want to go out, yes. Did it matter in the end? No, because we had a loving agreement in place where we get to do the things we want most of the time. Life is about compromises and I am out Thursday now 🙂